Don't Lose Your Song!

It was rather conspicuous actually. I was sitting in a congregation and we were all singing together, “There is Coming A Day”. Suddenly, I found myself singing alone. The attention of everyone else was diverted to something happening in the back of the building and they all stopped mid-song. I was unfazed, continuing on in my lone soprano voice, “what a day, glorious day, that will be.” Everyone turned now to stare at me and chuckle. 

And then my little boy sleeping beside me jabbed into my side as he did a push up and turned to wake me. I realized that my song had only been a dream. 

But as I fed him, I pondered. Sometimes it seems that the whole world is losing their song. (Granted, that’s simply not true and the faithful sing on.) Sometimes we become corporately distracted and our songs of hope and expectation die away mid-chorus as we are caught up in the hullabaloo of what is happening around us. 

Sometimes I lose my song. I stop singing just because I can’t hear those around me singing on. Sometimes I lose focus of what the future really holds for the righteous. I fill up on the messages swirling around me of doom and gloom until there’s no room left for the true saga of indomitable hope. 

But what if people laugh at us because we still sing of The Day that is coming? What if they think we are the weird ones because they stopped singing and we carried on? What if our voices are lone and solitary in their song? What if we are the only ones singing when That Day is suddenly here in all its splendor?

Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

The Perfect Home

If a word can get ahold of a human heart and flood it with a feeling, that’s the alluring wistfulness the word "home" is having for me.  

More than just enjoying the word, I enjoy having a home. A nest. A place that is a haven, a bit of heaven, a safe, cozy nook where I can relax and rest. I love the feeling I get when I’ve been gone for a long time, and walk again through the door into my home!

Speaking of returning home, recently one of my brothers came back from being in Africa for almost 2 years. What intensity of emotions the whole caboodle of us shared like static electricity between each other as we awaited the anticipated brother’s arrival from the airport. Given the fact that it was after 12a.m. amped it all up several notches! Then there he was. Happy shouts and hugs galore filled the cold night as banners were held high and sparklers lit, flashing and glittering in the darkness. What a spirit of joy abounded, as the beloved son and brother was welcomed home again!

But where is my home? That’s what I wonder when I wander around our apartment these days. In roughly two months the Lord willing we plan to leave the country for several months. When we do, we also plan to leave our apartment that has become “home” to us for close to four years (minus the 9 months we lived out of the country). Is it surprising then that I’m thinking a lot about home?

I’ve done a lot of wondering about what makes a place a home, since I’m surrendering my current home and preparing to transplant in other places. Is it the special, carefully-picked-out things in the house that make it feel like “home”? They certainly do make their contribution, but I’m convinced the nostalgia of “home” goes much deeper than that. Is it the memories made within a building’s four outer walls that finally pile up high enough to give the honorable title of “home” to a house? Memories certainly do have their part in the process. The people who share the home play another big part. When I think of going “home” to my family’s place, it wouldn’t be the same without the family!

I’ve been to Ghana three times and enjoyed watching the interesting progression of when the compound goes from feeling like a strange place in a strange country to “home” for the folks who come on the three months teams. Invariably it’s after they’ve been away from the compound, out experiencing life in the village for a few days. They come back and are intrigued to realize that THIS feels like home. This strange place that they have only been living in for a few weeks suddenly is no longer just some concrete square in the great big world out there; it’s the place to come back to and be relaxed. I love watching that happen.

There’s something about getting in touch with what isn’t home that makes you realize where home is.

I wonder what “home” will be like in the future for me. There’s a chance that the next few years will consist of living in a lot of different places for fleeting segments of time. I have known this prospect was imminent all of our married life as I follow my amazing, visionary man. This is what comes along with the life I always wanted to live!

But I do like home.

I like creating a space that is cozy and beautiful, a haven from the outside world, a nook where we can feel at home. When I think about that pleasure in creating a “homey” place for my family, I feel a sense of wonder. A sense that I’m walking on holy ground. That what I’m doing is like a child who is “playing house” while her mother is doing the real thing.

Jesus is working on preparing a place for me in Heaven! Given my understanding that this place will be mine for ever and ever and ever, my own little corner, that’s oh! So exciting! Gives me goosebumps. With how much He knows about and loves me, I am very sure that my room (or mansion, or whatever kind of dwelling it will be!) is being prepared in just the perfect way to make me feel at home. (John 14:2) With the doleful feeling of knowing that my own little home on Laurel Street will be reduced to boxes and many things dispersed to family or friends, my thoughts are daily entangled in the fact that maybe why I don’t feel home here is because I’m actually not home yet!

When my brother arrived back from Africa, everyone in the family got together to welcome him back. Talk about the joy of homecoming! My heart certainly throbbed with the joy of it amidst the laughter, sibling-banter, and chatter.  Yet amidst the happiness was an inescapable ache, as I felt deeply that someone special was missing. My sister beside me gave a knowing look and whispered, “Everyone’s here except Seth.”

Grief told me that fact is purely sad. A little boy who would’ve loved the joy of that night wasn’t with us. Hope quietly waited her turn to whisper that the truth is, Seth is the only one of us who has been welcomed home for real.

I wonder what Seth is doing today, alive and well in the place my faith declares is my Home but where I’ve never been. I’m so excited about going Home! I don’t even need to pack my bags; I’m already sending provisions and treasures for my life there on ahead and I will feel so lightweight and free to fly when the time comes! I wonder what it will feel like to wrap my son in my arms at some point after I arrive and to actually see him again…

Oh, how my heart longs for home. Home. I long to be in the Place where all of us, every one of us with our individual histories and stories, will be 100% free to thrive. A place where there is no more curse, a place where there is no more death, where there is absolutely nothing to make anyone afraid. A place where we always, every moment, can see our Heavenly Papa’s smile of delight in and over us. Where our older Brother Jesus is the Light. Really. He is such a Light that we won't even need sunshine! That sounds so spectacular to me!

I long for Home. The place where we can hear, with our own ears (our resurrected ears which will be capable of capturing all the awesome nuances of the music) our Daddy-God singing over us! The place where we can remember together the beautiful stories of God involved in our lives on earth. The place where we will be safe. Nothing and no one to terrorize us. We will feel safe, in part because we will see God like He really is. We will feel safe too, because just imagine. What would life without the curse be like? Mankind has not known that freedom for thousands of years! I want to go home, where there will be perfect humility, everywhere. I can hardly wait to experience relationships free from the gooey, stinky tentacles of pride. And we will be so changed because we will actually see Him like He is! I can hardly wait to be in the great celebration as all of us who have been living by faith in the shadows here finally arrive Home.

If you don’t feel at home here, maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Our unfulfilled longings for a perfect home are likely something our Heavenly Daddy wants to use to draw us towards Heaven and towards Him!

I’m on my way Home, just a wondering wanderer here. There are a lot of things in life right now that are keeping me in touch with where home isn’t, and where it is.  

And that’s a good thing. I have a flawless home being prepared for me, which unlike the difficulties in this life will last forever.

Valley of the Blind

They tell me there’s a valley

The people there are blind.

No eyes have they, no sight, no light;

They grope, their way to find.

Sadly enough, they can’t conceive

Of sight, or seeing eyes

Of color, sunrise – they will laugh!

And say, “You’re telling lies”.

One day, they say, a seeing man

Walked in and found this valley

He saw their plight and sightless blight

And cried, “Oh folks, do listen to me!

“The sunrise, it’s like gold today!

It’s streaked with red, pink, yellow!”
But all the blind thought he’d lost his mind

Crying, “Ho! You crazy fellow!”

“But oh, it’s true!” he cried aloud

“You’d know, if you’d have eyes!”

But still they jeered, and laughed and leered

And said, “You’re telling lies.”

The man with eyes thought, “I must stay,

“For all these folks must know

The wonders and the safety that

A pair of eyes bestow!”

So he moved in. And every day

He walked from street to street

He truly tried, the blind to guide

But it was no small feat!

“Hey, these are EYES,” he’d say and then

He’d let them feel his own

But his heart was torn as they would scorn

And say, “Pshaw! You’re so alone.

“Why would we want to have these ‘eyes’?!
We feel we’ve all we need.

Two little spheres that run with tears?

We need them? No indeed!”

Others would simply walk away,

Waving their sticks all around

Humming a song, they’d go along,

Stumbling along valley ground.

Sometimes he’d try to help them out

When he’d see some egg on a beard

Or a rip on a dress, or one’s hair all a mess;

Their response? “This fellow is weird!”

The weeks went by, and the seeing man,

He saw a young maiden fair

True, she couldn’t see, but her eyes he’d be-

He decided it then and there.

She loved him too, and ‘twas a match

They started to plan their life

But her family heard, saying, “That’s absurd!

“You can’t take her as your wife!”

“Give up your eyes!” they ordered him

“Then we’ll reconsider your plan.

“Your sight makes us queasy and feel all uneasy

“Your eyes make you crazy, old man.”

He pondered it long. For he loved the blind girl

And he loved all the folks in the valley

“But could I despise the sight of my eyes?-

Though I love her, ‘n’ all of her fam’ly?!”

His love finally won, and the day quickly came

By the evening his sight would be over.

He steadied his soul and he studied his girl,

The one who had made him a lover.

But a moment of truth, light came to his soul,

He groaned, and he moaned, and recanted.

“Why, I’d be a fool to give such a jewel,

I’m taking my seeing for granted!”

“I can’t do this, folks, I’m sorry,” he said

And he slowly walked home to his cottage

“To trade in the light for the darkness of night

Is exchanging a birthright for pottage.”

______

And others there are, in a world of the blind

Who have eyes, but are mocked for their seeing

“What globe are you from?! Your worldview is dumb!

Are you sure you’re a real human being?”

They certainly are, and wiser by far,

Than the folks who can’t see the Eternal

They have a reward which in heaven is stored

And by faith they receive the supernal.

These folks see the Light of Eternity Bright,

As they live in the smile of their Father

They scorn all the joys of this world’s passing toys,

Choosing rather than pleasure, to suffer.

They see what’s invisible, what can’t be seen

By our physical eyes which deceive us

(For those eyes think they see complete reality

And from the real truth they bereave us.)

 But some grasp in faith God’s invisible things

And they stand on the Word God has given

They choose to believe that they will receive

Great rewards when they come into Heaven.

Yes, they will be mocked, as they live in this vale

Where the blind say what’s ‘real’ and what’s ‘actual’

But shall blind hold the sway,

when they can’t see their way

And they don’t know what’s actually factual?!

Oh, dear Seeing Christians, don’t poke out your eyes

For the love of a temporal pleasure

For that would be trading the bright for the fading,

The passing, for eternal treasure.

The world needs your faith to show clearly the way

That they can find peace and know Jesus

For it’s by faith in Him that this world becomes dim

And He, from our sightlessness frees us.

By faith you can help others see the Eternal

And bring them into Jesus’ Kingdom

They’ll find that the Light brings more thrill than the Night

And that Seeing is marvelous Freedom!

1/2/2016 HNR

I wrote this after a time of feeling the pull of earthly things very strongly. God showed me just how blind I had nearly become to what is really REAL, that is, heavenly treasures and an exciting life in eternity where we will be alive in the fullest sense. When someone shared the story about the man who discovered the fictional "valley of the blind" with me, this poem flowed out of my pen.

Payday

If you would've been able to enter a dream I dreamt the other night, this is what you would've seen:

I was climbing a steep mountain road. Suddenly some friends of mine came rolling past in their car. Seeing me walking beside the road, their jolly faces popped out of the windows as they yelled, “Hey! You wanna ride with us!?” I hopped in quite gratefully, and soon we were zooming away together towards their home. When we arrived at their house, I was surprised to see evidences of a big celebration everywhere, including friends, food, and colorful decorations. My friends were throwing a big party! Many of their friends were there too, so I asked what this was all about. 

“Payday"! They exclaimed. “We are celebrating payday!” The dream ended with me taking in my surroundings in perplexity, knowing inherently that these people were celebrating a payday which was, strangely, yet to come.

When I awoke, I remembered that I had asked God for an encouraging dream the night before. Was there anything He wanted to say through this wild dream of my party-crazy friends? 

Then realization came rolling up to my consciousness like Friday comes after Thursday. Payday! Has the real Payday, the one that will stunningly excel all other paydays, happened yet? No! But it’s definitely coming up. Our Master, the Boss, is coming soon and His reward will be with Him! What if He's trying to encourage me to celebrate this coming day now, by throwing a spiritual "party" in my heart as I go about my labors for Him?

When Payday dawns, what kind of remuneration do you expect? Is it something worth celebrating about now? If not, it is definitely be a good idea to start putting in some joyful hours!

He Himself says that He will reward the servants who are ready. Both the one who plants and the one who waters will be rewarded. He is coming soon, bringing His reward with Him, to repay all people according to what they’ve done! (See Lk 12:38, 1Cor 3:8, Rev 22:12; slightly paraphrased from the NLT for better flow. Check the verses out for yourself!)

Why not have a celebratory, enthusiastic attitude as though already seeing our hours listed on the pay stub? Heavenly accounts are adding up; let’s celebrate the Payday which is yet to come by more enthusiastically lavishing our lives upon those around us with joyous love of Jesus!

“Payday” is coming soon!

Missing Out

We see brave soldiers fighting,

The Devil’s ranks to rout

They’re conquering in Christ’s Kingdom:

Do we sit…missing out?

We play along the sidelines

Sometimes the war to scout

We clap and cheer the soldiers here,

But…are we missing out?!

“Come, join the Ranks!” they call us,

With tears and heart devout.

But while they keep on fighting,

They know we’re missing out!

Oh, what will keep us back, friends?

Is it a fear, a doubt?

Oh, yield to God, no need to wait;

Say, “Hey! I’m missing out!”

Forget the things that matter less;

Let go, and do without

It’s better far to’ve followed Christ

Than find that you’ve missed out!

An easy life, ‘twill never be:

That’s not what war’s about!

But put your might into the fight:

You won’t be missing out.

Yes, missing out—on fleeting fun;

But once we’ve fought, we’ll shout:

“We’ve got the victory: Hurrah!

And we’re NOT MISSING OUT!”

When heav’n becomes our dwelling place

GONE will be every doubt.

We’ll stand in joy with our rewards:

May none be Missing Out!

Written four years ago on October 1st, 2013

At the Gate

The time was set; the End had come

Earth’s battles fierce had just been won!

Heav’n’s Kingdom’s rule had just begun;

God’s people gathered to come home.

We all were there, expectantly,

Yet some had doubts, or fears, it seemed;

For as we looked up towards Heav’n’s Gate

We saw that questions chose our fate.

“When I am scrutinized, will I

The tests come past with colors high?

Or will I go to endless mourn

In deepest darkness, pain and scorn?”

These thoughts were deep; I wondered too

But then with clarity I knew:

Christ’s blood is all my Confidence!

Naught else could be a sure defense.

I knew I’d lived my life for Him,

In faith, not sight, earth’s treasures dim

And of my sins I’d honest been

In sight of God, and sight of men.

“Praise for the Blood!” I said with joy

“No need for any other ploy;

Christ’s blood has washed it all away!

No need for fears here on this day!”

The time drew near; our time was here!

My bro was first, his answer clear.

“I trust in Christ the best I know;

He’s washed me whiter than the snow.”

A smile flashed on Gate-man’s face

“Yes! Enter in! Come to your place!”

And now attention turned to me;

My body thrilled expectantly.

I waited as the gate-man smiled

Looked at his book, and said “My child

Your life is clear! Be of great cheer!

Come in, welcome, we know you here!”

I thrilled; I could’ve sang for joy!

I’d lived my life to see this day!

My stand for Christ in life on earth

Was known in Heav’n! What cause for mirth!

Before I’d time to enter in

A man came running from within

He thrust some money in my hand;

“Dimes, quarters? I don’t understand.”

But wait – this shiny currency

‘Twas not American! Oh, me!

Their words inscribed I read with awe:

This was not paltry change at all!

“Ten million”, not a dime, it said!

Each coin the same, in millions read

I looked up, puzzled, so the man

Began to help me understand.

“This is the first of much reward

That you have here in Heaven stored!

I have been sent with this foretaste,

To say your life was not a waste.”

I then recalled the little boy

Whose fee I’d payed for, and his joy

It all sunk in: the things I’ve done

Are repaid here, million for one!

Excitedly, I entered in,

To see my Jesus and begin

Exploring all in store for me

In glorious Eternity.

And then I woke – it was a dream.

I rubbed my eyes; so real it seemed!

And then I thrilled; oh, for the day

When Heav’n will rinse earth’s cares away!

And every thing I sacrificed

Will be repaid for by my Christ.

He sees it all! He sent this dream

To boost me, give my eyes a gleam.

Maybe He sent it for you, too

Though but a dream, its picture’s true

For in the Kingdom Jesus rules

The ones who lose to gain aren’t fools.

God sees us every day we live;

What things we choose, and how we give

When we arrive at Heaven’s door

May our clear lives have gone before!

Will we be those whose lives are known

And cheered for, around Heaven’s Throne?

Oh, let me live more faithfully

Until the day when faith shall “see”!

HNR

3.16.17

At the time I had this dream I had been struggling with who I am/how God sees me; this dream gave and gives me fresh courage and confidence to keep living each of these precious days for HIM, knowing that as I do, I am known in Heaven and will be unashamed when I reach The Gates!