Mama

My daughter’s vocabulary is not very extensive yet, which may be partly caused by her discovery of one little all-purpose, miracle working word: “Mama”.

The meaning varies with the tone:

“Mama!” (said with an emphatic yet singsong voice, which starts at a high pitch and lowers on the second syllable.) This one can double in meaning as a way of calling the woman she is most attached to in the world, or as a way of saying, “Look at me, so I know I’m still important to you.” Conversely, if the tone rises on the second syllable, she’s likely to be communicating, “I’m so happy with you, dear mommy!”

“Mama.” -said in a matter-of-fact manner as she goes about her play. Can boast a plethora of meanings, including:

“This book is so nice!” 

“I’m making sure I still remember how to say your name.” 

“My sock is wet.” 

“I’m ready for you to find something else for me to do!” 

Usually it is a way of staying connected and sharing her every moment with me. 

“Ma-MA.” This one is said with the all the tonal emphasis a baby can express, which is poured out upon the last syllable. “Ma-MA” means, “I am feeling disturbed/frustrated/annoyed about something, and I’m so glad to know someone I can blame.” 

“Maaama!” This one sounds like the mournful cry of one of the cute tiny goat kids outside our house who got separated from his mother. This one often means “I’m unutterably tired!” It can also mean that she can’t get the zipper open on her little bag of toys, or that she can’t reach something or can’t get down off her chair. This one (and most of the others) are often accompanied by a pitter patter of baby feet on concrete as she hurries towards me with whatever’s on her heart.

I realized one day that it’s quite astonishing how much as a mother I can understand my daughter when all she says is my name. I can often sense whether or not she’s gloriously happy, intensely frustrated, utterly scared, wounded, or tired; all in one little call of my name.

Today I felt distressed. I had dozens of emotions stuck in my heart, and I couldn’t figure out how to get the lid off so they could escape. I wanted to pray, but I felt so stuck. My words seemed garbled and my attempts at communicating with the One Who Is the Answer to my needs seemed as insufficient as the first page of a dictionary. I tried to find better words, deeper words, respectful and proper words...And at the end of it all I saw my daughter running towards me, crying in her little baby voice, “Mama! Mama! Mama!”

With all the emotions of my heart weighing heavily in my eyes, I looked up from the scene before me and released my lips to call, “Papa! Abba! Daaady!”

And somehow...my mother-heart realized that He knew exactly what I meant. He felt my
emotions with me through my tone of voice, the look in my eyes, the tiredness of my heart. He saw right into my soul with that one simple word, and what He did inside me when I cried His name, I cannot explain.

One thing I know: when I cried my Abba Father’s name, He was right there. And I knew that He is all I need.

(I am in no way trying to say that I think it is good if our vocabulary in prayer never goes beyond our Father’s name; however, I think God is showing me how much He understands when His name is all we know how to say in the midst of our neediest moments in life.)